moltres:

overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them

gothlolita:

im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names

supcharlie:

do you ever feel

indoxyl:

i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job 

cyberbullys:

conor-cymex:

mydogsnokes:

i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die like really fast. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days

diamond

the word you’re looking for is diamond

no a rock

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis